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I am a mediocre cook at best, but the one thing I randomly became proficient or, dare I say, GREAT at cooking, is the humble scrambled egg. That said, scrambling eggs can be deceptively tricky to make. Nobody likes the slimy texture of undercooked eggs, but they burn so damn fast, too! If you follow the steps below, you’ll find it much easier to make fantastically scrambled eggs, whether to eat on their own or in some kind of sandwich.
In the meantime, I highly recommend checking out egg alternatives like Just Egg, which retails now for $3 on Amazon. I was honestly shocked when I saw the price; I paid 99 yuan, or the equivalent of $14 the first time I ordered it here in China. Never again! But $3-4 in the US? #yesplease. (If you are vegan, this post on livekindly.com lists some other great options, but I have only tried the Just Egg myself.) If you’re going easy on the dairy, nutritional yeast is a classic that I started to buy when Parmesan went bad too many times (*ahem* #myADHDisshowing).
If you are one of the lucky elite who are still springing for eggs, then here’s how to make the purchase worth your while!
! Do NOT preheat your pan! That almost guarantees your eggs will burn. Instead…
1. Put a pat of butter in the pan, and for now, leave it there.
2. I scramble one egg for use on English muffins, two for breakfast bagels, and 2-3 for scrambled eggs to be eaten on their own. Crack the needed amount on the side of a bowl or of a thin-sided mug, and immediately throw away the shells.
3. Whisk in your desired amount of garlic, salt, pepper, cumin, etc. to the raw eggs using a fork. I used to use garlic salt, and now I use garlic powder and salt! BIG difference 😉 (not really; I’m just a cheap bastard and already had salt and garlic powder on hand, so there ya go).
! Do NOT use milk. This makes scrambled eggs runny.
4. Get out any toppings and have them ready to go, along with a plate on which to put your scrambled eggs as soon as they’re done! You should scramble eggs last out of all the meal preparation steps, because they cool sooo fast.
5. Get out your spatula and set the cup next to the stove. It’s finally time to turn on the heat!
6. Turn on the heat to medium-low heat or 80-100 degrees Celsius and wait a few seconds for the butter to melt halfway. Once it’s halfway melted, get ready! It’s go time!
7. Pour the eggs into the skillet, wait a moment for the contents to settle equally, and then start moving! With the edge of your spatula, push the butter around so it melts and mixes into the eggs that you just dropped in.
8. Wait a moment (~1 second), and then flip the spatula and use the edge upside down to sweep the eggs in one direction. Wait another second for everything you just moved to have a moment to heat up evenly, and then sweep the spatula back in the opposite direction. Wait a beat.
Next, push the eggs in a new direction (like north-south/east-west), and then start to scrape in any pieces left behind. At this point, you want to consistently move ALL the eggs around with a brief pause in between of maybe half a second. It hasn’t been long enough for anything to burn, so don’t be afraid to sweep in pieces that seem stuck to the bottom of the pan.
! The key is not to let the eggs sit still for any extended period of time, and to keep the heat LOW–but to allow brief pauses for them to actually cook.
! Never leave the eggs once you start scrambling them in the pan. They will, inevitably, burn OR cook unevenly.
8. After 15-30 seconds, when eggs are 70-80% cooked, switch gears. Lower the heat to the lowest level possible or turn it off completely if you have a cook top that runs hot (like a gas stove).
9. Stop moving the eggs around with the edge of your spatula. Instead, now, push them all together, and then slide the entire spatula face under the bulk of the eggs and flip them over section by section, almost like pancakes. Look for any runny spots left (white, slimy-looking), and press the spatula on top of the eggs with the runny parts of that chunk of scrambled eggs facing down.
10. Once you’ve pressed most parts down by sections to thoroughly cook the eggs and remove any slimy portions, either:
A. To eat the scrambled eggs on their own:
– Use the edge of the spatula to loosely separate the eggs into scrambled pieces again.
– Add toppings and put the lid over the plate or a bowl flipped over to help them heat up, or to help cheese to melt.
– Wait one minute, and then add sides, and enjoy!
B. To eat the scrambled eggs in a sandwich:
– Do NOT separate the eggs once you have cooked them in step 9. Leave them together so they don’t fall out of the sandwich.
– Put any toppings like slices of cheese on top of the eggs in the pan and put the lid over the top to let it melt more efficiently.
– One to two minutes later, slide the spatula under the eggs and lift them like a slice of egg meat with cheese on top onto your bagel, English muffin, or toasted bread. Voila! Ready to go.
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